How Art Helped Dia Minhas-Calabrese Embrace Queerness
Artist Dia Minhas-Calabrese is a firecracker in a five-foot frame. Whether it be their blue undercut or the draw of a deep conversation, few ever forget them. On a blustery February night, I sat down with them over steaming bowls tteokbokki to discuss the intersection of art, gender and sexuality.
First off, what do you identify as?
I go with Genderfluid, because it makes the most sense as an umbrella term for somebody who drifts between the binary. Sexuality wise, I go with Aro-Ace— so Aromatic and Asexual. I try to curate the way that people see me under my own terms, whether it be fashion or my hair, my piercings, my tattoos or even the way I carry myself. I try to project what it is that I want people to see in me. But in the end, we can’t control that. We can only do our best to present what we want.
You use the word curate, something usually reserved for museums and art— do you see your gender presentation as a piece of art?
I would say choosing what parts of myself to present to others is almost like setting up an exhibit. What am I going to show people today? I think we are a sum of many parts, and you can’t display everything that you are at once. When I curate myself, I am deciding what it is that I want to be, or who I want to be, or what I want to be seen as.
When did things begin to change for you?
I would say I think a solid three-ish years ago. We had an [art school] project where we had to do three different art pieces of flowers, conveying three different themes. One was adventure, one
was love, and one was horror. For adventure, I based it on daisies and my best friend. Her name is Cerys. She’s the most adventurous person I know. That piece was in relation to this platonic love we have for each other. We call each other our soulmates. I think that’s been a big basis for my understanding of realizing that I’m Aro-Ace. That I do have genuine love for people, but it doesn’t have to go beyond platonic.
What about being Asexual?
I dabbled in casual, physical relationships with some people. It was not for me. Ace was realizing that I didn’t need to be looking. You see someone, you find them attractive, and you suddenly want to be attractive to them back. I found myself going: why? What do I get out of knowing or thinking that they like me? I’m just making myself uncomfortable by sucking in my gut.
Here’s my Tinder personality.
Exactly. It’s all because I want to attract this person. That was definitely one of the greatest moments of my life, that moment of going like, oh, my God, I don’t care. I’m free.
Was there a healing process in art?
I think so, yeah. Because it’s all connected to your self-esteem and how you view yourself. I didn’t need to prove anything to anybody. I don’t need to search for romantic partners. I don’t need anybody to tell me that I’m good at art. I joke a lot of times where I’m very peacefully bad at art. It’s on my own terms, and it feels very interwoven. It’s the freedom I have to do what I want to do at my own pace.
Daniela Ricchezza 